Loretta Anderson IBCLC Lactation Consultant In Brisbane, Qld

Little Tweaks That Make A Huge Difference

Baby Not Gaining Enough Weight? Start Here

Baby Not Gaining Enough Weight? Start Here
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Worried about your baby’s weight?

Good news: By finding the real reason your baby is slow to gain weight, you can resolve this issue in one week (or less!)

So –– no stress, OK? Here’s what you need to know.

A baby from 2 weeks to 5 months is expected to gain 150g per week. (If you’re concerned about weight loss under 2 weeks, read this blog post instead.)

About 60% of the mothers I see experience some weight issues. Mother’s come to me because their baby is NOT gaining those 150 grams a week. And it’s almost always for one of the following three reasons:

Reason #1: Baby Is Overtired

If Your baby is under 6 weeks old and is experiencing slow weight gain, see if any of these symptoms sound familiar:

  • Your baby breastfeeds for long periods of time, sometimes well over an hour;  
  • your baby will only sleep on you or your partner;
  • your baby is sleeping for long periods of time (over 6 hours more than once in 24 hours). 
  • Poo and wee are normal – ie wet each nappy change and soft, yellow poop 3+ times per day.

Any of these ring a bell? Your baby is probably overtired, and that’s why they’re not gaining weight. Here’s how you fix it: Slow Weight Gain With A Tired Baby

Reason #2: Baby Not Taking Enough Milk

The second possible reason for slow weight gain is that your baby is not taking enough milk.

Note: This has nothing to do with your milk production! It’s more to do with your baby’s latch and sucking skills. (Low milk supply is much less common.)

Here are some early signs:

  • Breastfeeding is hurting
  • Your baby is fussing and wanting to feed all the time
  • Your baby’s amount of poo is slowing down

If these symptoms ring a bell for you, there is a good chance your baby’s slow weight gain is due to latching issues. Jump over to my plan Slow Weight Gain – Baby Not Taking Enough Milk for all your answers!

Reason #3: Baby Born Prematurely  

Premature babies (born under 37 weeks gestation) often experience slower weight gain.

If your baby was born a preemie, click here: Slow Weight Gain With A Premature Baby

Other Reasons?

If none of these symptoms rings a bell, don’t worry!

Every baby is different. There are many other reasons why your baby might struggle to gain weight – and most of them a very easy-to-fix – especially if caught on early.

So if none of the three main reasons I mentioned applies to you, give me a call (or text me) at 0414 403 208 for a free consultation call.

I promise you – your baby will be back on track in no time!

7 Steps to Latching Success!

7 Steps to Latching Success!
Reading Time: 9 minutes

After working with thousands of women, I can tell you that almost every mother has some frustrations or insecurities when it comes to breastfeeding. And here’s what I have learned. 

The challenges with breastfeeding break into 2 groups:

  1. Confidence and emotional issues and
  2. Technique

And the number one reason mothers struggle with breastfeeding is actaully lack of confidence. This is a biggie!

Is this what you’re thinking?

“You keep switching things around, you keep thinking your doing something wrong or your stressing yourself out!”

Let me tell you, these thoughts get in the way way more than your technique!

So if you’re feeling a bit stressed out make sure you read this blog post on mindset. As for technique, all you need to do is follow these 7 steps with confidence and  your off and running! 

Before We Start – How To Fix Any Latching Problem You Have In Under 10 Minutes

One of the THE HARDEST things about latching is figuring it out on your own. Well no more! Let me explain……….

With my level of experience I can guarantee you if you tell me the damage you are seeing I will be able to tell you the little thing you need to change to get to a perfect latch.

We can even do it over the phone in like 10 minutes! So if your really struggling, or in emotional and physical PAIN give me a call 0414 403 208.

Now let’s get on to the 7 steps to latching success!  Here is a quick break down of the steps:

  1. The Set Up
  2. Lead and Guide
  3. Close Contact
  4. Arm Angles
  5. Bring Together
  6. Shaping
  7. Hold

This is everything! From start to finish and everything in between.  You’ll feel like a pro in no time at all! 

Follow These Easy Steps Directions Lesson Learning 3d Illustration

Step #1 The Set Up

The first step starts with your baby crying. And your instinct is to go to your baby and pick her up.

Well you are spot on! Pick your little bundle up and give a lovely cuddle! Easy! This is the start of the first step, the Set Up! 

After seeing over 17000 mothers I know the set up is the most important step! But it may not come naturally to mothers. So some guidance is called for – which is what I’m here for!

Here’s what you do:

  • Pick a spot to sit (chair, couch, bed, whatever suits you). With your baby cuddled in your arms, lean back a little. Leaning back gives more room for your baby on your chest and lap.
  • Remove your bra on the side you want to feed on. Then place your baby facing you on the top of your bare chest.
Mother and newborn baby boy
  • Your baby can either have a nappy or clothes on.  But you want at least their face touching your bare skin.
  • Your baby feels your bare skin and knows where they are. This is HOME. Now they will get ready to breastfeed by bobbing and licking (so cute)!

For a visual, click on my video that will demonstrate this step.

Feeling your skin is crucial for them to start the move toward your nipple. 

Don’t worry if your baby gets upset in this process (I see this happen a lot!). There is no time limit, you don’t have to meet a deadline! Just keep cuddling until your baby starts bobbing and licking.

DONE that’s the set up! No big breastfeeding pillows or equipment needed. Just you and your baby.

Now what to do with all that bobbing and licking……..on to step 2.

Step #2 Lead and Guide

This next step answers the biggest problem I hear about latching! “My baby doesn’t open their mouth wide enough to latch!”

While your baby is bobbing and licking they do one awesome trick! They practice opening their mouth!  They are getting read to suck!

Let me explain. Your baby is bobbing around on your bare skin in search of your nipple. They know it’s in the downwards direction!

Some babies throw themselves toward your nipple! It’s amazing to watch! Others will need guiding down, both are right!

Here’s how to help lead and guide your baby:

  • Gently guide your baby towards the breast and nipple you want to feed on.
  • While guiding make sure your baby is kept in contact with your skin at all times. Remember they are not looking for your nipple they are feeling their way.
  • Don’t worry if your baby starts to cry. This is normal! Just start at the top of your chest again while soothing your baby.

You have it all wrapped up! Lead and guide your baby to your nipple. Enjoy the process! Step #3 will give you even more closeness. Beautiful!

Beautiful newborn baby boy in the arms of his mother

Step #3 Close Contact

This step is all about enjoying very close contact with your baby. You might be asking, “why is this a step?” or “why is it so important?”

Well, there are 3 key reasons, let me explain:

  • Your baby feels your skin and feels safe, relaxed and at home (this means breastfeeding will be more relaxed!)
  • Your baby keeps practicing opening their mouth (also great when you latch!)
  • Your baby keeps using their in-built instincts to search and find the nipple making it super easy for Mum!

So you see how important this is! Close contact is all geared to help YOU! YAY! But don’t worry if this doesn’t come naturally to you. I have a list you can follow:  

  1. As your baby heads towards your nipple your tummy and you baby’s tummy need to be stuck together! You don’t want to see a gap between you and your baby. Not even an inch!
  2. Here’s a check to know if your close enough: “Can see your baby’s belly button?” If you can roll your baby into you by tilting their bottom to you.
  3. You can also lean back further to help your baby lie almost on top of you.   

The three points above will keep your baby close. Your baby will breastfeed a lot better with this close contact! Check out the video.

Next, where do you put all those arms that are now on your body! Step 4 will give you all the answers!

Step #4 Arm Angles

You have 4 arms on your body! Yours and your baby’s! Most mothers find this awkward and challenging. Where do you put them all?

Guiding mothers for decades, I have been able to come up with the most comfortable way to hold your baby.

Don’t worry, I have you covered. Here’s some steps (or check out my video):

  1. As your baby slides towards your nipple on your bare chest. Place your baby’s arm (the one they are lying on) around your side (the same side as the breast you are using).
  2. Try not to lift your breast up just bring your baby down to where your nipple sits naturally.
  3. Keep your baby close so their tummy faces your tummy and their face is still touching your breast.
  4. Then, circle your arm around your baby’s body (the arm on the same side as the breast you are using) .
  5. Your baby needs to be facing your breast remember tummy to tummy.

So now you are snuggled very close and your baby’s face is touching your breast.  A little like the picture below.

Young mother breastfeeding her cute newborn baby son, home bedroom

Just before we move on, I want to show you a simple tweak that I use with every mother with this step!

Your arm that is circling your baby (on the same side as your breast) needs to sit in just the right position on your baby’s back. I have broken it down below for you (or watch video here):

WRONG WAY – If your baby’s head is in the crook of your elbow then your hand would be holding your baby’s bottom. This pushes their nose into the breast and makes sucking difficult.  

RIGHT WAY – The palm of your hand needs to be either just above your baby’s bottom or at your baby’s lower-back. Depending how long your baby is. What this means is that your baby’s head is resting on the middle of your forearm rather than the wrong way in the crook of your elbow.

TO FIX IT – Just slide your hand up off the bottom until your baby’s head tilts back slightly then relax your arm. If you feel your baby is falling away from you, just lean back further so the weight of your baby falls on top of you.

Now you are looking like a pro! So let’s bring this together and latch!  It seems like lots of steps before we get to latch!  It will be worth it, I promise!

Step #5 Bring Together

You have come through Steps 1-4. Well done! Now it’s time to bring it together.

Your baby is opposite your nipple. When you see their mouth open simply cuddle your baby close to you. And see if they take the nipple in and LATCH!

Young mother breastfeeds her baby. Breast-feeding.

This seems simple, but remember, it’s about the set up FIRST and then the latch will follow.  Watch my video to really cement your knowledge!

Give it a go and see what happens. This is the trial and error phase, you are building your confidence, not striving for perfection!

So now your baby may be latched, well done!  But how do you know that you have the latch right?  This is a great question and I have 3 clues that answer it.

Just a side note: knowing you have a good latch has nothing to do with what you SEE!  So no-one can look at your latch and tell you it is correct you must feel, I’II explain below.

Clue #1 Pain Levels:

When you are learning to breastfeed you are going to have some PAIN in the first few days.  This is generally just the pain of your nipple stretching.  If you’re concerned about the pain and want to know more read my blog, Should breastfeeding hurt?

So this clue is about how long the pain lasts. If your pain lasts under a minute then you are on the right track!

After this minute you will feel a pull or a tug rather than pain. If pain increases and continues beyond the first few minutes it is time to take your baby off and start at step #1.  (Don’t worry this happens ALOT!)

Clue #2 Watch Your Baby’s Sucking:

What your are looking for is for the sucking to keep going! What I mean is that you will see lots of BIG sucks where your baby’s jaw drops low and you see movement at their temple.  

But the biggest giveaway that your baby is not latched correctly is they will FALL ASLEEP! If this happens then off to the start again! 

Clue #3 Check Your Nipple:

If your pain dropped AND your baby keeps sucking, the next thing to check is your nipple when your baby comes off. Here’s how:

Your nipple needs to be round, just as it went in.  If it is squished or flat on one side don’t worry! Just head back up to step #4 arm angles and check your placement. 

If you have checked everything and find you are still not latched, don’t worry! The next step will get you there! Remember this is all about PRACTICE not PERFECTION!

Step #6 Shaping

You have come through Step 5 and need a little more guidance. Your baby either hasn’t latched or latched and fallen asleep! So let’s bring in another trick, SHAPING!

As odd as it may seem your baby actually breastfeeds by shaping your breast tissue with their mouth. Rather than latching on to your nipple.

The good news is it doesn’t matter what your nipple looks like – Long, short, flat or inverted.

The tricky thing is, it’s hard work for your little baby to create the shape from your breast tissue. So they let go very quickly.

This means they slip off and on when trying to latch. The best thing is, YOU can help your baby by shaping your breast before they latch!

Here’s how to shape your breast.  

After working through steps 1-5 your will have one hand free. This is the hand you will use to shape your breast. Below are the steps (also take a look at my video on shaping):

  1. Bring your hand to the breast your baby is attempting to latch on to
  2. Look at the position of your baby. Notice an area on your breast opposite your baby’s nose. This is spot one for your index finger.
  3. Place your the pad of your index finger about 2 centimetres from your nipple on the breast. This will now be opposite your baby’s nose.
  4. Now you will use your middle finger and place it on your breast opposite your baby’s chin.
  5. Your fingers will look like scissors and are close to your baby put not touching.
  6. Next squeeze your fingers together to shape a piece of your breast tissue.
  7. Now your baby can grab on to this piece of breast tissue. It’s like biting a hamburger that is shaped the right way for your baby to take a big bite.

Now you are shaping, bring your baby to your nipple. Do this by pointing your nipple to the centre of your baby’s mouth and cuddle your baby close.  This will secure the latch.

But there is just one more step that goes hand in hand with shaping, it is THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! 

Step #7 Hold

It says it all in the title, HOLD!  Hold your fingers that are shaping your breast tissue. Check out my video on Step 7.

Hold the shape until your baby is sucking well.  Usually the first few minutes will do the trick!

You see, if you let go too soon your baby will lose their grip AND come off!

So don’t let go, not even a little! Even if your fingers are touching your baby, don’t let go! 

Give your baby the best chance to take a hold and get the rhythm going.  Remember you are waiting for the 3 cues.  

  • Pain eases after a minute,
  • your baby will keep sucking and
  • check your nipple is round after the feed.

After you see your baby take hold and suck well. You can loosen the grip, keeping your fingers on the breast. Then let go!  

ALL DONE! Now you can enjoy your latching and build on your skill.  Just have one last read of the final tip below and you are all sorted!

A Final Tip 

If you find you are not getting the latch try these things:

  • Give your baby a cuddle to calm and then start again
  • Let a family member have some cuddles while you take a breather (this is totally ok!)
  • Switch breasts and see if your baby will latch on the other side.  

I know this is a lot of information! Don’t worry if it seems foreign (most mums do!) Take it step by step and learn with your baby. Or give me a call or text and we can work it out together, 0414 403 208.

Finding Your Groove As A New Mum

Finding Your Groove As A New Mum
Reading Time: 3 minutes

So this blog is all about YOU! How are you feeling through this tumultuous time of change and have you found your groove? (Don’t worry if you haven’t!)

I find that most mothers struggle with their new role and lose their sense of self. This is happening while constantly guessing and meeting the needs of their little baby.

You may feel alone in your world, but, trust me, every mother is feeling the same way.

Take comfort in this community of new mothers! It’s time to be kind to yourself, I’II show you how, keep reading!!

Through my experience and in my opinion, Mother’s revert to a younger persons thinking, like when you were learning at school.  Let me explain….

When you’re a new mother you may be unsure of your new role.  You will ask for direction and seek advice most of the time. This can put you right back to high school!

Don’t worry, we all do this!

But the good news is, your confident, adult self, is still there!  You CAN trust your instincts and learn with your baby!   So let’s bring the confident woman you already are back into the mix!

Mother and baby

Let me tell you a story……….I saw a beautiful mother in my clinic who was so worried that she had stuffed everything up. She was spiralling, feeling totally out of control and looking for answers to questions that she didn’t even know to ask! Sound familiar?

So here’s what I did……..I started a conversation about HER first. About who SHE was! I asked what her life was like before baby.  

And then I saw it……………..a sparkle in her eye, a true glimpse of her soul and her happiness. It was like a beacon that I needed to follow and explore. It was her happy place!

I immediately felt my eyes tear up as I saw a beautiful woman come to life. I told her exactly what I saw and reminded  her that she is a wonderful woman who was just struggling with learning a new skill and finding her groove in this new role.

I gave her permission to problem solve; as she did so well in her adult world. The consult took a dramatic turn and she was able to tell me exactly what she wanted and needed!

Confidence

No more asking questions, no more feeling bad or guilty and no more worry about the future! Just the here and now is all that is needed and this woman was doing BRILLIANT, a superhero in fact!

Woman Superhero in Action

I think, if you have found your way to reading this, you need to just take a step back from mummy role. Take this hat off and put your confident, adult hat back on. The one where you go about each day feeling confident in what you do.

Then, head on back to your mother role and put that hat on top of your other one! DONE! Now you can use both hats to weave your way through your new role.

You are an adult and you can bring your awesomeness to this role! Go on, do it, get that sparkle in your eye and keep on going!

You will get through the sleep deprivation! You will get through the uncertainty! You will get to the other side with a new found confidence as a mother and SOAR!!

Free Happy Woman Enjoying Nature. Beauty Girl Outdoor

This is what I call MINDSET! Your mindset is THE biggest hurdle you need to jump, it is bigger than all the practical breastfeeding stuff.

If your head is right then the rest will follow. Here’s what you can do…

  1. Meditate for 10 minutes each day – whether you do this by listening to music, sitting quietly, journalling or closing your eyes and taking a few very deep breaths. This will clear your mind each day and set you up for success.
  2. Stop reading other peoples stories or listening to well-meaning relatives!  That was their journey not yours. Just read my blogs!  LOL!
  3. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else! No FOMO here! This is just torture and sends you on a downward spiral of self-destruction.
  4. Look around my website for all the answers to your questions. Or if you need a dose of confidence building or mindset magic then schedule a call with me here.
  5. Take one day at a time. Forget the past, don’t try to predict the future just sit in the NOW. If you are in the NOW you are ok. You can problem solve in the NOW and you can cope and ask for help in the NOW. You can’t do this if your mind is sitting in the PAST or the FUTURE.
time concept - past, present, future - colorful sticky notes on blackboard with white chalk arrow and eraser smudges

So come on over to the NOW……………Use all the hats that you wear as a confident adult, even it is a very small hat! Anything that makes you feel confident, bring it forward, swing it around and place it firmly on your head.

Woman putting hat

You WILL feel different, you will sparkle and you will be able to keep going!

You are amazing!

Breastfeeding Hurts! Is This Normal In The First 2 Weeks?

Breastfeeding Hurts! Is This Normal In The First 2 Weeks?
Reading Time: 5 minutes

“Should breastfeeding hurt?” As a Midwife and Lactation Consultant for over 20years, I still hear this question everyday! And here’s the answer:

Except for the first minute of a breastfeed in the first 2 weeks, breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt.

I will explain everything and give you the answers to:

  • Why your nipples hurt?
  • Recognising when it’s not normal and what to do
  • When your nipples should feel better?

I want you to know that it is ok that your nipples hurt! You haven’t done anything wrong. The good news is they will heal and most pain will disappear in a week!

Now let’s get you through this next week by learning about why your nipples hurt! The next part will ease your worry and your pain!

Why Do Your Nipples Hurt And How You Can Help?

Your nipples will only hurt for a short time, as little as a week. And you can have less pain by getting the latch right. Check our my 7 Steps to Latching Success Blog.

Now, let’s learn about your nipples.

Some are long, some are short, some are flat and others are inverted! It doesn’t matter what your nipples look like!

You see, your baby breastfeeds by sucking on the breast tissue around your nipple. That’s why your nipples can be any shape or size. Your nipples are already perfect!

All nipples are soft, stretchy and have lots of tiny little crevices over them. So when you breastfeed, particularly for the first time, your nipple is going to stretch.

This means all these crevices will actually widen for the first time (ever!) as you learn how to breastfeed. This is what I call “stretching pain”.

As you go through more and more breastfeeds the pain you are feeling is this “stretching pain.” Best thing is it only lasts about 30 seconds to a minute at the beginning of a breastfeed!

Now you don’t have to worry about this pain. You haven’t done anything wrong.

Follow these points to minimise the pain:

  • Hold you baby close (don’t take your baby off in the first minute)
  • Relax, breathe and look away
  • Resist the urge to check the latch (it won’t give you any more information!)
  • Notice when the pain drops down

The great thing is that this pain is not doing any damage. Your nipples are getting used to breastfeeding which is a great thing.

You now know that the first minute is NORMAL pain. But how do you know when it’s heading in the other direction, not normal? I’II explain next.

Little baby girl breast feeding

How To Recognise When Nipple Pain Is Not Normal?

Your nipples generally won’t hurt in the first 24 hours. But after a few days for breastfeeding practice your nipples can get a little tender. The best part is now you know that a little pain is normal. Your nipples are stretching with this new activity.

So what will you actually feel when breastfeeding? The first day you won’t feel much apart from pulling and tugging but as the feeds mount up the pain can start. AGAIN, this is normal!  

Here’s how 1000’s of mothers have described their pain:

  • “It kind of burns and pinches for the first minute, then all I feel is a tugging”
  • “It feels like a really strong pull then settles into a gentle tugging”
  • “It feels like a hard pinch at the start then, as my baby keeps sucking it drops down to a tug and a pull”

So tugging and pulling is ok. Pinching longer than the first minute means you start the latch again.

Here are the signs it’s not normal:

  • The pain lasts longer than one minute
  • The pain increases over time
  • Your baby becomes fussy pulls away
  • Your baby falls asleep and stops sucking altogether

If you have any of these signs take your baby off and start the latch again. Check out my 7 Steps to Latching Success for help. 

If you need to take your baby off, don’t despair, it happens a lot! The best thing to do is immediately check your nipple when you baby comes off.

The reason for checking your nipple is to gather more information. You may be thinking, “what am I looking for?” Great question!

Below are the 2 most common nipple shapes letting you know the latch is not quite right:

  • Your nipple is flat on one side (generally the side closest to the centre of your chest (like the end of a lipstick). Check out Step #4 in my blog 7 Steps to Latching Success – Arm Angles to fix this.
  • Your nipple is squished on both sides with a crease down the middle (running vertically). Head over to Step #3 Close Contact to learn more.

So you see, you can gather information, that is, assess the pain and check your nipple. Simple!

Remember I said that most mothers do have some damage along their journey. So next up is all about when your nipples will heal or most importantly………….. when will it all feel better!

When will your nipples feel better?

It takes about 2 weeks for your nipples to heal. I know this sounds like a long time. Hang tight, the pain will get better and better during this first two weeks!

Before I go on………………Mother’s generally ask if they should rest their nipples. Meaning, stop breastfeeding and express their milk to give in a bottle.

My answer is two fold:

  1. Keep breastfeeding, let me explain. Your nipples CAN HEAL why you are still breastfeeding.  You see, as you breastfeed your milk will be sloshing around your nipple helping it to heal!  So if you can, keep breastfeeding.
  2. If your nipples are just too sore to breastfeed then YES, rest your nipples. Give me a call to help you with this, 0414 403 208 or shoot me a message!

Back to it……………..The healing process, What to expect day-by-day:

What To Expect Sign on white paper. Man Hand Holding Paper with text. Isolated on sky background. Business concept. Stock Photo

Nipple Pain and Healing In The First 3-4 days 

This is where the damage occurs for ALL mothers! The healing process has not kicked in yet.  

  • You will feel pain or discomfort in the first minute of the latch then feel a tug and a pull for the rest of the breastfeed, this is NORMAL.
  • Your nipples will be a stinging a little in between breastfeeds.
  • Some nipples will crack and bleed (don’t worry, it happens, nipples heal quickly, keep reading!)

Nipple Pain and Healing Up To Day 7

At this stage your nipples generally don’t get any worse.  They are also not likely to get any better.  So don’t worry if they feel and look the same up to day 7.  

Here’s what mothers have described their nipple pain as up to Day 7:

  • “Very sore, like a stinging sensation, with breastfeeds and between breastfeeds.”
  • “It stings when the water from the shower runs over them and when any material brushes over them.”
  • “I’m dreading the next breastfeed.” (remember your nipples are designed to go through this!)

If you are feeling the above, you are not alone! When I explain this to new mothers they are quite relieved!  So I hope you are too!

Nipple Pain and Healing Day 7 To Day 14

From day 7 your nipples will get a little better each day.  YAY! You will have pain on initial latching for that wonderful first minute then the pain will ease and it will feel good.

By two weeks your nipples will be looking much better and feeling much better!  You have come through this time and learnt a hell of a lot!  Well done! 

But what if your nipples don’t heal in this magic 2 week time period?  Firstly, don’t panic, I have this covered, head over to my blog, nipple pain after 2 weeks.

Before you go!

A word about nipple cream. A lot of mother’s ask me if they need nipple cream to help their nipples heal?

The answer is no you don’t!  Best advice is to hand express a little breast milk and dab it onto your nipples and wait for time to pass!  Just make sure your hands are clean!  

All the research states,¹ apart from getting the latch right, it’s time that is the number one healer of nipples.  So save your pennies!

Time To Heal Concept

If you do decided to use cream, because as you know, I never say NO, use it sparingly.

Remember your nipple has lots of crevices and too much cream can block them up. So put breast milk first, then a small amount of cream and that’s it!

So you now know all about NIPPLES! Fantastic! Just let me know if you need more help!  

______________________
¹Dennis CL, Allen K, McCormick FM, Renfrew MJ. Interventions for treating painful nipples among breastfeeding women. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews [Internet]. Chichester, UK: John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. 2008.  

Close-up of a newborn baby breastfeeding

How to Manage a Feed From Day 1

How to Manage a Feed From Day 1
Reading Time: 7 minutes

You must be thinking, “Why do I need to manage a breastfeed?” The answer: To make sure your baby is full.

My spiel to new mothers goes like this:

“A full baby will sleep well and a baby who has slept well will feed well!“

You see, if you manage a breastfeed, your baby will fill up in a short period of time and then sleep well.

So managing a feed ties in to the number one reason mother’s call me. Which is ‘sleep and settling issues’! And the solution…….Manage the Breastfeed!

So how do you manage a breastfeed?

You manage a breastfeed by filling up your baby in a reasonable amount of time. Within about an hour for a baby under 6 weeks.

If you do this, then you can REST assured (pun intended 🙂 ) that your baby is getting the most sleep he/she can!

Managing a breastfeed WILL help your baby sleep. But the great thing is there are more benefits to managing a breastfeed:

  1. It creates structure while you’re learning breastfeeding – Structure creates confidence. You will feel confident in all your breastfeeds and know that bub is getting enough!
  2. It makes demand feeding easy – I don’t know about you but demand feeding is the ONLY advice new mothers get while in hospital!  Through years of practice I find this is not enough information! Managing a breastfeed will take the GUESS work out of demand feeding.
  3. It prevents your baby from falling asleep at the breast – Managing a breastfeed will keep your baby alert while breastfeeding. Falling asleep at the breast means feed time will drag on and on!

So let’s learn how to manage a breastfeed from day 1. Onto the STEPS (I love a good plan)!

Portrait of a newborn baby girl crying

Just before the first step a quick rule:  

Try and finish the whole plan in about an hour.  This is how long your baby (under 6 weeks) can stay awake for before they become really tired and need to go back to bed.

If you have been having REALLY long feeds, well over an hour (don’t worry if you have, most mums do!) Then gradually shorten your feeds to an hour (over a day or so).

Vector illustration of one hour stopwatch icon

Step #1 Straight To The Breast!

As soon as your baby wakes go to the breast, no mucking around or doing ANYTHING else. Just plonk yourself down on the couch and feed!

Don't Wait

This step is basically the definition of demand feeding.  Your baby cries and you answer!

Don’t delay the start of a feed as this can make your baby tired before they even start!

So what do I mean by delaying a feed……….good question! Delaying a feed is doing ANYTHING else before a breastfeed.  This means, nappy, bathing, playing or holding off for any amount of time because you ‘think’ your baby is not DUE a feed.

All these seemingly small issues for a baby under 6 weeks will potentially waste precious energy that they need for feeding.

So when you hear your baby cry, answer them and start the feed! Your baby will reward you by having a great feed!

Up next is watching your baby at the breast. This will let you know how well your baby is drinking your milk!

Before you head to Step #2, head over to my latching blog, 7 Steps to Latching Success, is you need a hand with getting your baby on.

#2 Watch Your Baby

Watching your baby breastfeed means you can assess their suck (don’t worry I’II talk you through it!) This will give you information on how well your baby is taking your milk.

Time to pay attention to them. What is your baby doing? 

  • Is your baby’s sucking pattern deep and rhythmical? 
  • Is your baby’s jaw opening wide? (You’ll know it is when you see movement at their temple)

Those two points are the signs of a good, strong suck which has the ability to extract the milk out of the breast.  

But if the sucking changes to little flutter sucks or nibbling, or if your baby actually falls asleep, it’s time for a break. 

You see, sucking at the breast is so tiring that your baby can only do it for up to about 20 minutes at a time. (That’s why babies fall asleep at the breast so much – they’re completely exhausted!) 

Once the action slows down, the sucking becomes ineffective and doesn’t have enough “drawing power” to extract milk from the breast. 

When that happens, your baby may come off by themselves. Or you can do these two tricks:

  1. Cuddle them into you and see if the nibbles turn back into bigger sucks. 
  2. Squeeze your breast to try and turn nibbles into bigger sucks. Watch my video on this, its called, breast compression.

Eventually your baby will come off or you will take them off. Most of the time this will be under 20minutes. Anything longer than this is mostly ineffective sucking for a baby under 6 weeks.

The feed is not done. This is just first course, on to the next step and Daddy time!

#3 Nappy and Burp Time

While your baby is having a break from sucking, you should take a break too! Get up, stretch, grab a drink or something to eat. Now is the perfect time. 

Meanwhile, daddy can handle the burping and changing the nappy. (Or you both can just cuddle with your baby and marvel at your creation!)

Now, remember that I said that your baby can only suck at the breast for about 20 minutes before their jaw muscles tire out? So the fact that your baby stops sucking doesn’t mean they’re full.

It usually just means they need a break. 

Most babies (especially under six weeks old) need several courses in one session before they are truly full 🙂

They just need to rest in between them for a few minutes. And that rest is what nappy time provides them with! (In addition to a clean diaper)

And now that the nappy has been changed, start looking again for feeding cues: 

  • Sucking of the hand
  • Poking the tongue out
  • Crying

Any one of those three at this stage is a sign it’s probably time for another course! (It may only be a few minutes or less before they are ready to breastfeed again!)

#4 Back To The Breast

Switch sides, and follow the steps above. 

This side may last up to 15 minutes (but again, don’t watch the clock – watch your baby). 

As a side note, many parents worry whether their baby is “getting enough” or not. My blog post Is My Baby Getting Enough? will help you answer that question!

#5: Getting Sleepy

After this your baby may fall asleep at the breast. This is ok. And in fact, it’s rather nice for both of you!  

When the baby is getting sleepy, most parents naturally feel they should either cuddle for a while, or put the baby in their cot. 

But wait! There’s one more thing to do first! 

#6: One More Chance (The Key!)

By doing just one more thing, you can drastically increase the chances of your baby having a very good sleep.  

Are you ready for it? 

Here it is. 

As you wrap your baby and pat them off to sleep (while still on your chest)

Give them one more chance. 

Look again for any feeding cues. Is there any chance your baby is still hungry? 

If they start crying or are looking for more – try the breast again. 

Remember, it’s hard to tell if your baby is full or just needs a short break from all the sucking. And just this act of paying attention now and offering more (if they show any signs of interest) can make a world of a difference. 

Because this time… they will go to sleep full. And they’ll sleep better. And everything will start getting easier!

#7: Sweet Bliss

If your baby has a go, it will be very short. Possibly 5 minutes or less.

Then they will most likely fall asleep on the breast on their own. (If your baby does not want another go, that is fine. Then it’s time for bed.)

Nearly all babies will cry a little when you settle as you have moved them from their favourite spot (the breast!).

That’s OK. Just keep patting and your baby will go to sleep. You will notice the cries and protests will calm quickly, and you can then put your baby to bed.

What To Do If Your Baby Does Not Go To Sleep?

This is a great question! And it does happen generally once in a 24 hour period.

If your baby won’t settle and seems to be having a long feeding and crying session (around 2 – 4 hours) they may be entering what I call “a cluster feed”

The reason your baby cluster feeds is they just hit a point where it’s all too much!  Just like us really!  So having a long feeding and crying session is NORMAL!

A cluster feed means the hour breastfeed time goes out the window. You will be feeding for a few hours. To read more on cluster feeds plus get some strategies head over to my blog A Calm Settled Baby In 72 hours.

Remember, almost every baby goes through a cluster feed at least once every 24 hours. So when this happens, do not despair! Just keep following the seven steps and your baby will settle down. 

These cluster feeds usually happen in the middle of the night for the first week or two, then settle into the late afternoon afterwards.

A FEW TIPS

  • TIP 1:  Keep an eye on your baby’s poo and wee – here’s what you’re looking out for
  • TIP 2: DON’T try to make your baby sleep longer at night by keeping them up during the day. It doesn’t work!
  • TIP 3: DO try and stick to the hour so you can become aware of your baby’s cluster feed times.
  • TIP 4: For more tips, check out Help!!! My Baby Is An Overtired Angry Monster!
  • TIP 5: This is a GUIDE. As you get to know your baby, you might find you have a different structure that suits you better! And if you do, please leave a comment below and tell us about it! That way we can all learn from you!

Once you have mastered this plan, write down how you feel (check out my blogpost Mother’s Mindset to find out why. It will literally blow your MIND!). Also note how your baby is feeling, what the poo and wee is up to, and weigh your baby. For more on weight see my blog on Weight Gain And Weight Loss.

Something Isn’t Working? I’m Here For You!

This plan is a starting point. It’s the first step to getting your baby feeding and sleeping the best they can. For some babies – these seven steps are all you need. BUT if you are still having problems, then it’s best to delve a little further.  

Give me a call or text me at 0414 403 208 and we can have a chat. Figure out what is happening – and what to do about it. More often than not it only takes a few little changes and tweaks to bring calmness, happiness and sanity back. 

It’s just sometimes hard to figure out all on your own. Especially if this is your first child. 

And there’s no reason to do it on your own. Text or call me now, and we’ll work it out together! 

Young mother holding her newborn child. Mom nursing baby. Woman and new born boy in white bedroom with rocking chair and blue crib. Nursery interior. Mother playing with laughing kid. Family at home

Free Consultation!

If you are struggling with breastfeeding (or just feeling a bit overwhelmed) – don’t go at it alone. I’m here to help.

Call me now at 0414 403 208 and let’s figure it out together! (Prefer text? Message me on WhatsApp!)

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